Exposing...myself

So this post is something that I've not really shared with anyone. until now...

Last year this time I was having a realization. A realization that I needed to get things right in my life. I felt super stressed and under appreciated, ridiculously obligated to things that didn't matter, unhappy, and disgusted in my own skin. At my annual checkup at the doctor's office, I finally did something that changed my life. I asked for help. I told her I wanted to lose weight. She recommended Dr. Hwang and Dr. Edwards, who run the UT Weight Managment Clinic. I went for an initial visit with them to discuss the program. Six months of learning portion control, foods, and what exercises I was capable of and that I could stick with. Dr. Hwang spent a lot of time examining my personal life, learning about my family, feelings, career, school, and social life. I really felt like I'd finally found something that I could stick with: no diet, just education and exercise. I lost 8 pounds in the first month, 9 the next. The weight just kept coming off. Changing my eating habits wasn't hard. The exercising took some time. Even though I still have to push myself to go (I call myself a lazy slob until I force myself off the couch. Somedays it takes 30 minutes, somedays 5 hours.), the results I'm seeing motivate me to keep going.

There are two days of the year that I don't fight back tears. January 27 and May 17. We're coming up to May 17. It was the worst day of my life. I got a phone call at work that my brother had passed away. My 29 year old brother died of a heart attack due to complications from obesity. How does that happen? Sure he wasn't a small guy, but he wasn't grossly obese either. It still stuns me and still feels like someone is hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat when I think of him not here. I know he doesn't want me to be sad though. I have to be healthy, do things differently. For his kids, for my future kids, and for myself.

With that said (Goodness this is a long post), here's a little over halfway. Since this time last year, I have lost 65 pounds. Sure I've noticed it in my clothes, but I guess it took looking at old pictures to realize how much I've actually changed. crazy. Feeling better about myself, taking care of myself helped me realize the other things I was stressing about aren't important. I now come home everyday and think to myself how lucky I am to be doing exactly what I'm doing. I'm grateful.

p.s. The before picture isn't the best picture, but it's the only picture that i allowed last year that was all of me. Thanks to Neha for providing the "after picture" :)